Hi. My name is Adam. And I’m an alcoholic eyelid twitcher.

It’s been going on for about 3-4 weeks now, I would say, and I’ve been starting to wonder more and more what could be the cause. It’s my upper right eyelid (great, now when I talk to you you’ll be staring at my eyelid), and it twitches on and off throughout the day. I spoke with the internet about it, and here are some possible causes:

1) Lack of Sleep (and thus fatigue)
2) Stress
3) Too much caffeine

Let’s go through the list and see if any of them apply: 1 - Well yes, I suppose I’m not getting enough sleep. At least not since I joined the mafia. But this has been going on longer than the recent late nights making hits. Besides that, in the past I’ve stayed up late killing people with never a twitch. So I’m not sure lack of sleep is the problem. 2 - Hmmm. Stress. Such a hard thing to measure. I’m sure I’m stressed, but I don’t think any more so than in the past. STOP STARING AT MY EYE!!! Work is the same as always, and apart from work I don’t do all that much besides hang out with Dan and Abby. I hardly think the gym is stressing me out. Moving on. 3 - I do drink a lot of coffee, but again I’ve been drinking a lot of coffee for a long time now. That’s the only real caffeine intake in my life. Don’t really drink soda. And tea, well, why drink tea when you can have coffee???

So none of those things have really changed to the extent of developing an eyelid twitch as far as I’m concerned. I guess I could have brainstem neoplasms, but we won’t go there.

I guess I’m still at ground zero. Now, where did I set my coffee down…